Idol Alum Britnee Kellogg Finally Puts Abusive Relationship in the Rearview with 'Back of My Mind' By Tricia Despres
"As much as I don't like the person he was in our marriage, I want my kids to see that we still have a level of respect for each other," the songstress tells PEOPLE of her ex-husband
In a small community in the big state of Washington that former American Idol standout Britnee Kellogg has always called home, rumors spread fast. So, when she got word that her ex-husband might possibly be up to his old tricks with his new flame, the songwriter in her went to work.
And out came her very own viral song "Back of My Mind."
"It's a song that basically says that I feel for his new wife and I know what she might be going through," says Kellogg in a recent interview with PEOPLE about the warning cry of a song that has been viewed over 3.7 million times on TikTok. "Maybe I shouldn't feel like that, but I do. So, if she hears [this song], I want her to know that if she ever needs me, I'm here."
Indeed, she does. Because it was not more than 15 years ago that Kellogg found herself making the life-altering decision to put her dreams of a music career on hold in favor of marrying her high school sweetheart. And before she knew it, Kellogg was the young mother of one with another on the way.
She was also on the verge of divorce.
"It was just a real unhealthy marriage," Kellogg, now 36, remembers. "There was infidelity, and he was very mean and not supportive and very unkind."
In 2009, Kellogg left her husband.
"From the outside looking in, he still hasn't changed," she explains. "But he's my boys' dad and they adore him. As much as I don't like the person he was in our marriage, I want my kids to see that we still have a level of respect for each other."
Following the couple's contentious divorce, Kellogg made the decision to audition for American Idol with two kids in tow, in the hopes that she could find a way to resurrect her musical dreams that she realized she had from the time she went to her first concert.
"I was 6 years old when my grandparents took me to see Johnny and June Carter Cash live in Portland," she recalls. "I remember every single thing about that night. I remember how the room smelled and what they were wearing. It gets me teary just thinking about it.
Kellogg adds with a laugh, "I remember leaving that concert and looking at my grandma and declaring that I was going to be a country singer and was not going to go to school anymore!"
